I still hear technologists talk to stakeholders and say things like, “You need a soft delete.” Worse, I hear non-technical stakeholders say, “Can we add a soft delete?”
But when was the last time a customer called and said, “Can you soft delete my order?”
They don’t. They say “cancel my order,” “put it on hold,” or “postpone delivery.” Each of those means something different. Each opens a conversation about what the customer actually needs. But when we default to “soft delete,” we collapse all that nuance into a single technical term.
The Language We Impose
I’ve written before about how the word “delete” doesn’t belong in most business conversations. No employer tells an employee, “You’ve been deleted.” They say fired, transferred, promoted. But in software, we’ve trained entire industries to speak our language instead of their own.
The result? We miss things. Important things.
When a customer wants to “cancel” an order, that might mean:
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Stop production but keep the record
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Issue a refund
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Convert it to store credit
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Reschedule for later
When they want to “put it on hold,” that’s different again. There’s a conversation to be had about timing, about what triggers the hold to lift, about whether inventory should be reserved.
But if we just say “soft delete,” we skip all of that. We assume we know what they mean. And we’re often wrong.
The Hunt for Other Culprits
I’m now on the lookout for other IT terms that have colonized business vocabulary.
“Prompt” is shifting right now. Before AI, we’d say, “I need to prompt the audience,” and everyone pictured people. Soon, that same phrase might instead conjure an audience of AI agents. The meaning is drifting under our feet.
“Route” is another one. In a single project, I’ve seen it mean:
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An API endpoint
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A front-end URL path
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A delivery driver’s morning route
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A logistics path for shipments
Put front-end developers, back-end developers, truck drivers, and logistics coordinators in the same room, and watch everyone process that word differently. The friction is invisible but real.
Facilitating Clarity
When I’m facilitating conversations, I’m deliberate about language. If I know the audience shares a common understanding of a term, I use it. If there’s any chance of ambiguity, I add context immediately: visuals, examples, alternative phrasing.
The goal is to remove friction so everyone can participate without having to translate in their heads.
Coaching Through AI
I’ve been thinking about how to scale this awareness. How do we train consultants and developers to recognize when stakeholders use our language rather than theirs?
I’m considering building this into my AI workflows. When a stakeholder mentions “soft delete” in a requirements conversation, the AI could flag it: “In this industry, when they say ‘soft delete,’ they likely mean one of these scenarios…” Then it prompts us to clarify with the stakeholder.
This could work both ways. It could help stakeholders refine how they communicate their needs. And it could coach consultants who default to technical jargon, nudging them toward more human-centered, context-aware conversations.
The technology should help us speak their language, not force them to speak ours.
What IT terms have you noticed creeping into business conversations where they don’t quite fit?
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