The Read to Lead Challenge prompts you to ask Who Do You Respect—and Who Do They Read?, because “every person you admire has influences.”
Since my teenage years, I’ve been inspired by book recommendations from people I admire. When I asked an old friend for a list of the most influential books in his life, he included a book he had recommended (and lent me) three decades earlier: Childhood’s End. I enjoyed the book, and it was interesting to learn that my friend still thought so highly of it. That book is on my re-read list.
(If you prefer listening to reading, and with added images…)
Some other people I asked responded with books I had already read and considered influential — which was great because it gave us more topics in common to talk about and deepen our relationships. Others recommended books and authors I hadn’t heard before. I look up information about those books and write down notes on whether I think I might consider reading them soon, in the future, or very unlikely (in which case, future-me might disagree when he reviews those notes).
On that note, finding the most appropriate time to read a book is significant. If I had read The Power of Your Subconscious Mind a year or two later, I would have approached it with a perspective that would have prevented me from learning a skill that has been essential for me.
Another book recommendation, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, didn’t keep me interested in listening to the entire audiobook. I remember some parts piqued my interest, but not enough to keep me engaged, and I gave it up halfway through. Over the years, I kept seeing references to that book through other books and people I respected. Thirteen years later, I decided to give it another try — but this time reading the ebook. Starting to develop a light interest in philosophy during that period, and reading philosophy books, helped me make it through. According to my notes:
“The book was tough to finish. I fast-read through the last half or so. The jumps between the road trip and the meditations on Quality and Phaedrus lost me. They felt disconnected. Several times, I read big words repeated multiple times within just a few sentences. That was likely intentional, but I didn’t like it. Too wordy. I may need to re-read it 10 years from now.
I got a lot of great gems out of that book, but I know some of the content is beyond my level of understanding (and it was worse thirteen years before I made it through the end), and I believe I’ll appreciate it even more when I revisit it a decade later.
So, if someone you respect tells you “you MUST read this book”, don’t get on it immediately.
Many YouTube videos are titled things like: “These are the books YOU absolutely MUST read THIS YEAR.” When I see that, I think:
You do not know me. You know nothing about me. What makes you think you know what I must read this year? How do you know these books are exactly what I need? You don’t know what books I’ve already read, what challenges I’ve overcome, or what struggles I’m currently facing.
Now, if someone who knows me recommends a book, I can think about it in two ways:
- Is the person recommending it because they’re excited about the topic and can’t help but tell everybody about it? That’s great, and I may read the book to share that excitement. That could be a person I’ve been wanting to help, which might be what I needed to understand them better. Or,
- Is the person recommending it because they’ve been observing me, listening to me, and believing that the book will help me overcome a struggle or take the next step in my journey? Those are great, too!
When someone you know recommends a book, it may also be helpful to ask about the circumstances under which they read the book, what they were going through, and what skills or knowledge they have. You can use that information to decide whether and when to read the book.
To quote the Read to Lead Challenge:
“It really cannot be overstated what a book recommended by the right person at the right time can do.”
Someone I respect gifted me the book Nonviolent Communication. I thoroughly enjoyed the book, and it came at the right moment — it felt like a good sequel to another book I had just recently read, A Complaint Free World. The person didn’t know about that, though.
Side note: Fast forward a few years, and the friend who gifted me the book thought it was the other way around; I had gifted him the book. That was funny — but it may also indicate people who have mutual respect.
In a few cases, I’ve read some book recommendations that, when I read them — and even years later — I’m positive the books were not for me. But then again, they helped me understand the people who recommended them better, improving our relationship.
What if someone who inspires me isn’t someone I know, and I can’t just ask? If that person is an author, I look for mentions in their books, spread throughout pages, or listed as a bibliography reference. Or they could have a list that is available somewhere handy for us.
Authors like Ryan Holiday and Mark Manson are great at sharing books that influenced their writing.
One of my favorite authors, Derek Sivers, keeps a list of his book notes, from which I’ve drawn several great book recommendations.
In some interviews, Derek has mentioned a book that influenced his life as a teenager: Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within. I’ve read the book recently, and it was interesting to see the connections and influences that surface in Derek’s writing.
One time, a co-worker gifted me a book, Accelerate, and kindly included a note suggesting how to read it and get the most out of it. I followed her suggestion — and she was spot on.
While reading The Obstacle Is the Way for the first time, as I highlighted passages and wrote notes, I kept thinking of a buddy who could benefit from that knowledge. When I was done reading the book, I bought another copy, added sticky index tabs to the pages I thought would be the most impactful to him, and gifted him the book.
Some people respect you; let them know the people you respect. Ask them who else they respect.
My top book referrers are Improvers. I have read many books based on their recommendations, and two related stories are some of my favorites:
Story #1
When I was taking the Read to Lead Challenge with a group of Improvers years ago, one of them said something along these lines:
“I’m shocked. Some people I respect and asked what books have influenced them, said that they don’t read books.”
The challenge often mentions a maxim attributed to President Harry Truman:
“Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.”
Story #2
The week a new Improver joined the company, he saw so many books around our office that he thought they were just there for decoration. He was amazed to hear about our ongoing book clubs and said:
“Oh, these people actually read books!”
We have been exchanging several book referrals since.
If this post got your wheels spinning, you may want to check out this video, in which I share how I track book recommendations. I use this information to decide what book to read next.
The books we share, the people we become.
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