The Manners Question
I told someone the other day that I do not say please or thank you to AI. They gave me the look people give when they think you have forgotten your manners.
I get it. Manners matter between people. But when I type a prompt, I am not talking to a person. I am giving a machine a task. To me, that is a different kind of conversation, and it calls for a different tone.
Practicing Leadership
I have given talks about using AI as a way to practice leadership. When I break a problem down, explain the why behind the what, and give clear direction, I am rehearsing skills I use with people. The practice is real.
An AI agent does not need encouragement, small talk, or a soft landing. It needs clean instructions. So I leave the politeness out of the prompt. The machine responds to clarity, not courtesy.
The Friendly Machine Problem
Anthropomorphic AI bothers me because it tries to blur the line between machine and person. Fake keyboard clicks while a phone system “looks up” my account. Chatbots that sound overly casual. Avatars that smile and nod as if they have feelings. Each one is a nudge to forget I am talking to software.
If I could talk to a kind, helpful person, I would. If I cannot, I would rather the system sound like a system. At least then I know exactly what I am dealing with.
Following the Money
Charles Munger had a famous quote: show me the incentive and I will show you the outcome. I think about that when I interact with friendly AI products.
The voice on the other side may sound warm and supportive, but it is still translating my words into binary. Behind the helpful persona are people in suits looking at dashboards, trying to keep me engaged and profitable. That does not make the tool useless. It just means the warmth is part of the product, not a real relationship.
The Lesson
What I’m learning is that I want the boundary to stay clear. AI is a powerful thinking partner and a useful place to practice clear communication. But it is not a person. I will be direct, grounded, and clear-eyed about what is on the other side of the screen. Or rather, what is not.
Leave a Reply